Tuesday, March 11, 2014

The Three Little Pigs Go to Paris

Once upon a time there were three little pigs and the time came for them to leave home and seek food. Before they left, their mother told them "Whatever you do, seek the best food you can because that's the way to get big in the world."

The Three Little Pigs

A light bulb pops above Pig #1's (Babe for Food) head and she declares, "Let's go to France! Paris! Creperie Paris!"

Pig #2 (Baktin Corporation) goes, "The French 'invented' cooking! Paris we shall!"

Pig #3 (Pigstachio), ever the easy pig, licks his lips and nods his round head in agreement.

All three pigs wave good bye to their mother and they file out of the pig pen. They march their way to Paris—Creperie Paris.

Sonrisa Suites, Juana Osmeña St., Cebu City
Monday to Thursday 11AM-10PM
Friday to Saturday 11AM-12MN

In Creperie Paris, the interiors made Pig #2 feel sophisticated and he orders the cheese platter (Php 295, choose three items from about ten options), and a glass of red wine (Php 95-115). Yup, Pig #2 is the "cultured" one of the bunch.

The pigs' cheese platter: parma ham, emmental cheese, gruyère cheese

The three little pigs decide one cheese platter is not enough so they add one savory crepe (made of buckwheat) each.

The first little pig orders La Classique (Php 170; ham, egg, cheese) because...it is a classic!

The second little pig orders La Fermière (Php 185; mushrooms, bacon, egg, cheese) because...you can never go wrong with bacon!

The third little pig orders La Raclette (Php 215; ham, onions, baby potatoes, cheese) because...it's Creperie Paris's owner's current favorite!

(These pigs are cannibals! Eating their own kind! Ham! Bacon!)

Savoury crepes

While the three little pigs are digging into their savoury crepes, the Big Bad Wolf comes along and sees the first little pig digging into her La Classique. The Big Bad Wolf goes, "Lemme eat you, lemme eat you, little pig or I'll stomp and I'll chomp and I'll gobble your crepe up!"

Not wanting to be eaten, Pig #1 gives a portion of her La Classique to the Big Bad Wolf. The Big Bad Wolf closes his eyes and forks the La Classique into his maw. A good ten seconds pass before the wolf opens his eyes again and grins. (Is this a good sign?)

The Big Bad Wolf, not satisfied with his small bit of perfectly delicious La Classique, turns to the second pig and goes, "Lemme eat you, lemme eat you, little pig or I'll stomp and I'll chomp and I'll gobble your crepe up!"

Pig #2 follows Pig #1's lead and gives a portion of his La Fermière to the Big Bad Wolf. The Big Bad Wolf forks the La Fermière into his maw and he looks heavenward with a sinister grin on his furry face. (Is this a good sign?)

The Big Bag Wolf is enjoying the crepes but he wants more and turns his eyes to the third little pig. "Lemme eat you, lemme eat you, little pig or I'll stomp and I'll chomp and I'll gobble your crepe up!"

Pig #3 trembles with fear as he tearfully hands over a portion of his La Raclette. The Big Bad Wolf is quiet for a few moments, savoring the awesome flavor of the La Raclette.

Because each of the pigs did not get to eat his entire portion, as pigs go, they were still hungry and want more. While the Big Bad Wolf looks away, the pigs whisper to the server for two sweet crepes: La Chocolat–Caramel (Php 125, salted caramel with dark chocolate or Nutella) and La Caramel Beurre Salé with mangoes and ice cream (Php 145, salted caramel with mangoes and vanilla ice cream). They know they won't be able to escape the Big Bad Wolf, but half a crepe is better than being eaten alive, they think.

Sweet crepes

When the two plates of sweet crepes get plunked on the table, the three little pigs frantically slice up the sweet crepes and offer portions to the Big Bad Wolf before he could say, "Lemme eat you, lemme eat you, little pigs or I'll stomp and I'll chomp and I'll gobble your crepes up!"

Fortunately for the three little pigs, that quick gesture seems to satisfy the Big Bad Wolf. The three little pigs heave a huge sigh of relief (and almost jump off their chair with joy) when the Big Bag Wolf declares: "I think I shall never eat a Pig again! These crepes from Creperie Paris are tastier than these three pigs combined!"

And they all live (with bulging stomachs) happily ever after!


  1. For a moment, I thought I was reading a nursery rhyme.

  2. Pig # 2 is squealing in delight as he reads this. He adds that he cannot possibly top this particular blog entry - very creative and mouth-watering as well. ;)

    And he also would like to clarify that he is not as cultured as Pig #3 thinks he is. hehehe.

    Baktin Corporation

    1. This story is inspired by real life events hahaha :))

  3. Hahaha! What a fun read! I was grinning like the big bad wolf the entire nursery rhyme! :)) I especially love the mustached pig!!! Love your evolution, Mustachio! Can't wait for more stories of the 3 not-so-little cannibalistic pigs :))

    And hmm… I wonder who the mother of all pigs is… :))

    Babe for Food a.k.a Pig # 1

    1. Hello Pig #1, how do you like my picture of you? Hehehe :))
      And...you don't know your own mother?!?! I don't either!

    2. I smell porky romance. #shipTHEM

    3. Zhequia, wa ko kasabot sa hashtag hahaha

  4. I had so much fun reading this post. Great!

  5. nakakagutom! good job in coming up with such a creative post. :)